how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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