Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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