are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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