You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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