I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
