Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
