Where did you get a picture of my penis
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
