i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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