Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize