And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
