You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
