if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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