Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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