So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
