hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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