I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
