Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
