That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
