why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
