uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
