this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
