i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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