oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
two words: eviction party
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
