We're like a lot better than the average bears
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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