so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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