Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
