Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
