How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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