you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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