she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
