Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
