I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
