You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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