dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
