He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think your dad took our porno
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
