i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
