I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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