Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
