$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm having to shit out rocks
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
