Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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