Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
