We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
