i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
