If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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