i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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