Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
if only i could text you this smell
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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