with your own penis?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
