please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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