my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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