If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So apparently I’m into choking now
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