i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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