I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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