Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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