Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
