You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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