...so i touched it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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