Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
