Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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