You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
