Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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