So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
