will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize