is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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