Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
