when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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