I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
