i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize