Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize